I found a fanfic I used to read, I think it was last year. One of the best crack fics out there. And I’m not just saying that because I’m in it. Although it may or may not be a contributing factor.

Merlin Is Back!…With gayness making up for plots.

To be honest, I found myself thinking I’m only still (after being a fan since 2008) watching this show for the main characters and the magic. And by the main characters I mean Arthur and Merlin. Because they’re the only characters left with inventive and interesting dialogue by now.And by the magic I mean, well…the magic…and dragons. That stuff.

So, series 5 opening…

Where to begin…? Oh yes, at the beginning, we’re not even five minutes in and already things aren’t making sense.

Somebody please explain to me how Gwaine got knocked out by a wolf? No seriously, how did that happen? Gwaine is a skilled fighter, he should be able to kill a normal animal like a wolf. And how does wolves knock people out anyway? Was it a magic wolf then? That’s the only thing I can think of…

Anyway, moving on…

Morgana has many handsome men working underground in gay sex caves tunnels, digging and searching for something. Every single sex slave worker in there is shirtless(which can be argued is one the most redeeming qualities of this eppie)…and it’s obviously freezing cold down there, but somehow the audience is supposed to believe it’s blazing hot…just like any other underground mine shaft in icy and snowy mountains.

Back in Camelot there’s a traitor, posing as a trustworthy cute servant…nothing too unusual there.

There’s a ominous prophecy, given to Merlin by a druid seer…as usual. Merlin is showed Arthur being killed (without really fighting back, which actually makes sense later but looks just really odd there and then). 

The Great Dragon tells Merlin he is the only one who can keep Arthur safe. Which is nothing new, but probably true as usual.

The traitor is revealed…and of course it’s the innocent looking servant girl, oh and she’s only doing what her father tells her because he hates the Pendragons. Fair enough, Pendragons have made quite a lot of enemies over the years. It’s nothing very original though.

Later, Gwen steps up as Qeen and shows a new side of her. The -sentencing-people-to-death-even-though-they-were-your-servant side.Oh well, loyalty to the kingdom is more important than mercy and fair trials, I guess.

And back in the gay sex caves underground tunnels, Gwaine is visited by…an alien?? Wha…?

The last I want to touch on that bothered me enough to mention happens at the end of the episode. 

Arthur and Merlin are captured and for some reason, their captors think it won’t matter whether Arthur is dead or alive. So they decide to kill him. Why the hell would they think a dead Arthur would be worth anything? What, would you ransom Queen Gwen with a dead king? 

Arthur and Merlin is saved by a very much adult Mordred (Exactly how many years did you say had passed again? Because it definitely wasn’t 3, unless Mordred found himself an aging potion)

It is revealed the men who captured Arthur and Merlin are working for Morgana. Did they not know Morgana would probably want her brother alive so she could kill him herself…or have Mordred do it for her?

Then again it seems like Mordred showing up and saving Arthur and Merlin’s asses was staged. Actually, I’d be surprised if it weren’t, since Mordred must be aiming to gain Arthur trust…and it will probably work if Merlin doesn’t do something.

To end on a positive note, Merlin and Arthur’s bromance was nice in this episode. Some moments bordering on tender, though not quite there. Merlin even showed Arthur a hidden skill. Oh and musn’t forget THE EYESEX. Oh how I’ve missed it. 

As far as I’m concerned Merthur eyesex is the eyesex by which all other slash OTP eyesex must be measured.

no-literally:

yup

paulinegrint:

Credit of the bottom gif and inspiration: (x)

(Source: edmuress)

colsandbradders:

two sides of the same door

(Source: fallencassbutt)

warp69:

emrysdragonlord:

is this considered Merthur or Brolin.. now I’m just confused.

#his hand #like #climbs along bradley’s #he doesn’t even let go #he just like #slides his hand along bradley’s wrist #what the fuck man #what the fuck 

(Source: lwayth)

mistehkins:

Merlin FanArt: WTF by ~Shin-ichi

(Source: luthi69)

royalprat:

For Onceplusfuture ♥

(Source: colinwheel)